I know what I need to do to change…Yet!

Change is here to stay…Managing change is always a discovery process. Even if the people in charge plan carefully beforehand, they will still have to improvise and chart the path as they go. The odds are that it will never be the same again in the organization. Things may settle back down as time goes by, but they will settle down differently. When these changes are finally made…finished…things will be changed.
Frustrating, isn’t it. We understand what we want, why we want it, and we get all fired up to make the necessary changes to make it happen. Then we continue to do the same things we have always done and get the same old results that we do not want!

Whether we are creating a healthier life style, going after that promotion or seeking a more fulfilling relationship, we somehow get diverted. Our intentions are noticeably different from our outcomes. Understanding this behavioural change and how we need to build self-awareness is a very big part of this journey.

Our dreams, desires and goals are rational events that occur in our mind. It is here that we can do anything we want. If you have ever had a great lottery fantasy, you know the kind of energy and excitement it can create. You can almost feel the sun on your face, thinking about that vacation; or the wind in your hair, as you drive your new convertible sports car; or how your family will feel when you share your winnings with them.

But there is something missing between what we create in our minds, and our physical reality, where we create our desires. In the gap we meet unconscious resistance and the thoughts in our brain put us on automatic pilot, creating one more time what we already have. We might not want it, but we know how to create it. It is the neural path of least resistance. We meet our fears, our self-defeating automatic statements, and our self-limiting beliefs.

In order to change our behaviour to support it with achieving our goals, we have to interrupt our listening to all the things we tell ourselves that make us stop trying. “It’s too hard”, “It makes me nervous”; or “I know what people might think” are some common thoughts that emerge during a behavioural change process. However, moving in the direction of difficulty and facing it rather than avoiding unpleasant mental events (automatic thoughts and feelings) moves us in the direction of making our dreams come true.

This process requires us to nurture an observing self; a self that has the ability to chose what thoughts and feelings are helpful and which are not. Feelings and thoughts are not facts, although we often treat them as though they are. It is surprising how often we actually tell ourselves stories about what might happen and then react as though the story is true. A thought such as “I can never do that”, “Something will go wrong, and I know it” is enough to deter action toward a desire when it is believed.

This journey through this gap is difficult to do alone. Often it requires a coach, a friend, or a trusted colleague to help to draw out the points of resistance and the thoughts and feelings that get in the way of change. We can get caught up in the idea that we should be able to do it ourselves, which is in itself, resistance.

Every day we have the opportunity to create the life we want to have. We can chose to live, or we can chose to just survive and be safe. Changing our mind and confirming our thoughts, feelings and behaviour to our objectives is the path to self-fulfillment and actualization. Our ability to change our behaviour will determine whether or not we achieve our objectives. Remember, although it may be difficult, you are worth the time, energy, and effort.

Nobody else is in charge of your attitude. So if your attitude is upbeat and positive, you can get all the credit. On the other hand, if you were reacting negatively to the change that is a choice would not do you or your company any good if you go around upset about things. You waste too much mental and physical energy going to work with a bad attitude every day. It poisons your job satisfaction, clouds your judgement and probably hurts your chances for success in the future.

Anger, frustration or resentment offers no benefits. Might as well get over it!! Controlling your emotions increase your control over the situation.

As Michael Losier states in his book the “Law of Attraction” you should eliminate the following three words from your vocabulary…”don’t, not and no”.

Losier identifies that an effective and easy process that will assist you to reduce and eventually eliminate the use of the words don’t, not and no from your vocabulary. Each time you hear yourself using these words, ask yourself instead, “So what do I want”? Each time you talk about what you DON’T want in that moment you are giving it your attention and energy. When you ask yourself what you DO want, the answer will have created changes in your thing and the best news of all is that you can only send one thought at a time.

Remember, “Positive and negative emotions cannot occupy the mind at the same time. One or the other must dominate. It is your responsibility to make sure that positive emotions constitute the dominating influence of your mind.” Napolean Hill

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