Are Your Beliefs and Attitudes Holding You Back?

10 day old baby brown elephant, standing with front foot up

Some years ago, when my husband Kurt and I were in Thailand on an elephant safari, we had the exceptional privilege of meeting a baby elephant who was only 10 days old.

She was happily running close beside her mother, who was watching carefully over her curious baby. She would come up to us, put her trunk in our pockets then run back to her mother. Only to repeat her adventure again within a few minutes. We were able to touch her and play with her under her mother’s watchful eye.

What I found surprising was that the mother elephant only had a short small rope tied to her front ankle.

I was amazed at how only a small rope tied to her front ankle with no chains or fences or cages was holding such a huge creature. It was evident that the elephant could, at any time, break away from her tie, but, for some reason, didn’t. I saw her keeper close by and asked him why this beautiful, superb animal just stood there and was not attempted to break away from her bond.

He explained that when elephants are very young and much smaller, they use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it is adequate to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot escape.

The elephants believe the rope can still tether them, so they do not try to break free. I was astounded. These animals could at any time shake off their bonds, but because they believed they could not, they made no attempts to escape and remained right where they were.

Thinking of this story, I started to reflect on how like the elephants, many of us go through life hanging onto an attitude or belief that we cannot do something, merely because we failed doing it at a former time.

Old beliefs hold you back. Decide whether you really want to change.

How many of us are holding back because of a previous outdated belief that no longer serves us? Have you passed up trying something new because of a limiting belief? On the other hand, how many times do you feel you were being held back by someone else’s limiting beliefs?

The more you begin to believe that you are not able to accomplish your dream or challenge, the less likely you are to achieve it. It is almost as if you talk yourself into it. 

Decide to stop.

Where to Start

I encourage you to challenge your own limiting beliefs by questioning them.

This constant questioning will weaken the belief and its hold on you. 

Once you have watered down your old belief, begin to replace it with a fresh, empowering one. Search for situations to sustain your ‘new and improved’ beliefs. Choose to affirm beliefs that develop and nurture. Seek out friends and colleagues who may have accomplished what you want to achieve, find out what they did, and copy their behaviour.

To help keep you on this path, remember the successful times in your past,  and use that experience to push yourself forward. And begin a process: 

  • Envision and create successes in your mind. 
  • Visualize yourself achieving your goals successfully.
  • Repeat to yourself that you are succeeding.
  • Write down your affirmations and review them daily.
  • Also, take the appropriate action to move forward with your new goal.

Beliefs Need Mileage to Take Hold. Step off the brake.

I find many people get up each morning and get into their car of life and start their engines, put their vehicle in gear and expect to move forward only to be frustrated they are not moving. What is interesting is their foot is on the brake at the same time they have their foot on the gas pedal. We need to take our foot off the brake to move forward in our lives.

Remember to take your foot off the brakes to help your new beliefs gain traction. 

What if My New Belief is Unrealistic?

The unconscious mind does not know the difference between real and make-believe.

Here’s an experiment to try: 

  1. Imagine you are in your kitchen.
  2. Imagine going to your fridge, open the door and take out a lemon from the bottom drawer. Close the fridge. 
  3. Now, see yourself taking the lemon to the cutting board and cut it in half and then again, so you have a wedge.
  4. Imagine biting into the lemon wedge. 
  5. Do you feel a tingling in your mouth at the sourness of the lemon?  Yet, there is no lemon in your hand or mouth.

Your imagination is powerful. 

How do I Know This Will Work?

If you wait around for guarantees, you will wait for a long time. If doubt is crossing your mind, then you are not committed to expunging your unwanted belief. Why not start with that belief?

Ask yourself: Do I always need a guarantee of something in order to try something? Question it.  What happens if you go to a restaurant and they are out of your favourite meal?  Do you leave? Or do you try something else?  Most of us would try something else. Some of us may even discover a new favourite.  

Then, consider the number of authors who have written on this subject.  

Michael Losier, in the book “The Law of Attraction“, writes that whatever you believe, with conviction, you can achieve. He adds that we attract into our lives whatever we give our attention, energy and focus to whether it is positive or negative.

Dr. Raymond Holliwell, “Working with the Law, says, “Never expect anything you do not want, and never desire a thing you do not expect. When you expect something you do not want, you attract the undesirable, and when you desire a thing that is not expected, you simply dissipate valuable mental force. On the other hand, when you constantly expect that which you persistently desire, your ability to attract becomes irresistible. The mind is a magnet and attracts whatever corresponds to its ruling state.”

Take Charge of Your Beliefs, and Change Your Life.

So, do not be like the poor elephant and go through your days trapped in a place or in a situation because of a limiting belief or negative attitude you developed some years ago. Jim Donovan, author of “Handbook to a Happier Life” and “This Is Your Life, Not a Dress Rehearsal“, says, “Take charge of your life now and live it to the fullest because you deserve the best.”

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10 Uncluttering Tips to De-Junking Your Personal Life.

A de-junked desk top with tablet, coffee in yellow mug, scissors, pen and weekly organizer with pink flamigo and black and white stripes

De-junking your space creates an organized work area

Ready to start de-junking? Are you drowning in a sea of stuff? Are you frequently stressed because you cannot seem to stay organized, no matter how hard you try? Frustrated because you are always running behind in getting things done? Uncluttering, or as I like to think of it, de-junking, is not the same for every person. One person’s organization may be another person’s chaos. This blog will help you control your space, life, and junk, in your own way.

What is Junk?

I define junk as something that clutters up your life and interferes with your success, productivity and effectiveness. So what is valuable to one person, might be worthless to another. It all depends upon your behaviours and what makes you successful, in your definition of success. For example, my definition of success is feeling positive about yourself and being productive both professionally and personally. Take a second and identify how you define your success. Is there junk in the way of you reaching success? Remove it — De-junk it.

Now, we will begin to review the aspects of your personal life that contribute or block your path to success.

Why de-junk?

When you get your personal or professional life organized, you focus on things that are truly important to you. By doing this, you may observe the following benefits:

• a sense of control over your life
• less anxiety to start a project because it is easier to get things done
• less stress in your life
• more time for the things you want to do, and
• increased productivity.

How you de-junk and realize these benefits depends partially on how you process information.

Recognize that some people like a very structured lifestyle with every detail written down, so they have a sense of control over each day. Others are more comfortable in a less controlled environment and find this fluidity feeds their creative side. Figuring out how you thrive to organize yourself in a way that works for you is the key to de-junking.

Quick Quiz: Find out HOW you think.

First, there are no right or wrong answers. This tool will help you understand your natural tendencies.

Read the question on the left and the question on the right. Choose a place on the sliding scale in the middle that most closely reflects your first thoughts. The neutral space on the scale is between 1 and 4: you are neither one or the other. That outcome is highly unlikely.

For example, if you like to know what the best way is to do something, but are open to new ideas, you may choose 4 on the sliding scale, because you will skew to the concept that is considered the absolute best.

De-junking key tip: Take the Quiz asking reader to choose between 10 different reactions to discover left-brain and right-brain thinking.

 

The higher the score, the more likely it is that you use the left side of your brain. Right brain people generally have a lower score.

If you scored 26-38, you equally access in processing information
If you scored between 9-25, you are right-brained
If you scored between 39-54, you are left-brained

Note: this is not your intelligence level but rather how you process information most of the time.

How does our brain work? 

Left-brain people are usually:                  Right-brain people are generally:               

 Positive                                                          Intuitive
 Concrete                                                        Holistic
 Analytical                                                      Spontaneous
 Rational                                                         Playful
 Linear                                                             Emotional
 Active                                                              Talkative
 Explicit                                                            Non-verbal
 Verbal                                                              Artistic   
 Sequential                                                       Visual
 Goal-oriented                                                 Physical

Equal-access people generally have a combination of attributes from both lists and move easily from using one side of the brain to the other.

Choose your de-junking style based upon your thinking style.

You can use this information to help you de-junk your life more effectively. As you make changes, make the ones that fit your natural tendencies and build on your strengths.

Don’t try to use a detailed calendar if you’re predominately a right-brain person because this will frustrate you. If you’re primarily a left-brain person, you might feel like things are out of control without a detailed calendar.

The left-brain person usually likes neat, tidy, well-organized surroundings. Right-brain people are more likely to be surrounded by chaos – piles, boxes, and even bags of information – but they can generally find things in their mess.

An equal-access person can quickly move between the two categories, so they have more choices in de-junking their lives. Unfortunately, it may be harder for them to settle on the things that are really important to them. For instance, an equal-access person might like a very detailed calendar like a left-brain person, but he or she also might arrange a work space with more flair and change it more often like a right-brain person.

A word of caution: over-organizing your life may decrease joy in your life. Enjoy the time you have by planning the essential things and saying no to items that are not important.

10 Tips to start de-junking. 

  1. Start gradually: You will begin to see how the positive effects of de-junking will have on you. You will want to do more.
  2. Have multiple calendars: Record significant activities and dates on a household calendar kept in a central location where it’s easy for everyone to see.
  3. Make appointments for important activities: Household chores – inside and outside – need appointments or regularly scheduled times.
  4. Use lists: Cleaning lists, grocery lists, and project lists help you stay on track.
  5. Keep supplies and tools together: Storing frequently used tools in movable containers make them easy to find and use.
  6. Strive for balance: Know what you want to achieve.
  7. Conquer procrastination: De-junking removes clutter from your life, organizing takes time and helps you keep and use items in your life. If you don’t know whether to junk or keep, hold the item separately and give yourself a deadline to make a decision by.
  8. Accept that different things have different values to you: Everything is not equally important. Leave the tyranny of perfectionism behind. You do not have to throw everything out.
  9. Schedule time for you: Take care of yourself – spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
  10. Treat time as a precious gift: Use time wisely by making choices instead of reacting to situations as they occur.

For more information about organizing your life, please read our time management blog.

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